Apparently last Friday was Employee Appreciation Day, but my employer is so far behind the eight ball that we’re getting an hour off today. Whatever, I’ll take any time I’m offered. I’ll likely convert any performance appraisal award to time as well. Hopefully those are coming soon. Work has become a chore, the thing to keep the paychecks depositing. I’m leading two projects, but more from behind the curtain. One person I’m charged with mentoring isn’t proactive, and the other works part-time. Since my supervisor doesn’t push me, I’m not so keen to push them. It’s a vicious circle.
I used to invest much of my time into work. In addition to pursuing innovative and relevant projects, I actively made friendships and sought to create a more inclusive environment for everyone. Lately I’ve been feeling excluded from promotional opportunities, and being overlooked in general. My response? Go with it. Stay underestimated and below the radar. Keep a low profile. Focus on something other than work. Let those who want my perspective ask for it. Otherwise I’m happy to keep my head down and collect my paycheck every other week. There’s so much more to life than work. I’m ready to downshift.
A few times a few years ago I went to a writers group that met twice a month. It’s a mix of very different people who come together to provide honest yet kind feedback to shared writing samples. I loved every night I went. I’m not sure why I stopped going. I want to go back. I have a piano in my house. It’s probably out of tune now, not that I could tell. I have sheet music that I like and I’m sure there is some muscle memory in my fingers. I want to start practicing again. I used to belong to a yoga studio, then, during the pandemic, I practiced at home. I want to get back on my mat. I’ve already gotten on my friends’ calendars. I’ve pruned my friendship tree further. I’m down to a core of six people, half of whom live in my city. I could be considered lucky, but I spent decades investing in dozens of friendships. Six is above the expected rate of return.
Similarly, I’m going to invest in developing new neural networks in my brain. This will result in redundancies that will serve as backups when a single neural pathway fails. By working now, in my fifties, to increase connections in my brain with creative endeavors, I’ll protect myself from the future of a shrinking brain. Late onset Alzheimer’s isn’t necessarily hereditary.
Epilog 